Tip(s) of the waistline

"Bring your family to a complete and satisfying meal" says Prego pasta sauce commercial, while applying a thick layer over a cheesy fried chicken sandwich. Pasta sauce over a cheese (fried) chicken sandwich? And all this while I thought pasta sauces are used to make (tasteless) pasta tasty. Now, a cheese friend chicken sandwich could be "a complete and satifying meal" (hey, what about breakfast then?!), but is it healthy? Is it good for a perfect built gut? (which gives the exact view when you're entering in a doggy-style!) Each serving of cheese (any cheese) has about 300 calories with about 250 in fat (or maybe more!). And over that they have fried chicken!!!!

...And the rest of the blog is for the straight men, who are *F.A.T* and also for the bears (I'm not into them so I can comfortably mention them here) who like other bears (no no! Not the polar or black ones. I meant the men-bears!). My favorite gay men should be categorized athletic, well-built, broad-shoulders, etc. So what do you do to reduce that hetero-belly a.k.a homo-chubby?

Disclaimer: Most of the statements in brace brackets are the words of the junta aka public. Most of the men referred herewith are homosexual men, and the tips may or may not apply to straight men.

...Presenting... the... Homo-guy tips! (applaud applaud)

"Have lots of sex"
(Hey, we all know that! Can you please elaborate on which positions burn more fat?) Sure, why not? Well, there's the doggy-style and then there's the on-the-top one.... Wait a minute! This is not a sexual-positions blog!! All I can say is that sex is good as an exercise. Your heart rate is faster than normal-fast and the whole body is working (read burning in excitement) which burns a lot of fat. Someone told me that prolonged sex is good for a normal healthy living (now, where are all the men.. oops.. gorgeous men?). So go ahead man.. get 'em pounded!
(applaud applaud)

"Have lots of sex"(You told this one. Why again?!) Oh I did?! Ahem! Well, then... the next one would be...
"Laughter"
(Really? How is that?) Well, I don't know how but then as they always say laughter is the best medicine. And then there are groups of elderly people near my home, in Bombay, who meet every morning in the gardens and laugh. Yes yes, they just laugh! It's called the "laughter club" and about a year back NDTV, Zee TV and BBC had covered this club on their channels. (Really? Wow!) Yeah, I know! One fine morning, I went to the park, looked around making sure no one was watching me, sneaked into the round circle where these crazy people were scorning their hearts out and asked this timid uncle what were they upto. For some forsaken reason he was
more that glad to see me there (Maybe because you were the only good-looking, young, attractive, loving, friendly chap in that group); Well, thank you! So, he gave a pat on my back and started laughing. Before I could lose my patience or tolerance, he narrated the story behind the formation of the group and the people in it. After about 15 minutes and 43 seconds I realized that he was nowhere around the answer to what I had asked him. So I preferred to ditch him and continued my run. Later my mom told me that it's indeed a good exercise because laughter inhibits anxiety which in-turn causes heart to beat faster causing faster blood flow and hence burning of fat. Now, I don't know how true this is, so all the stupid, non-sensible laughters (for the sake of burning fats) are at your own risk!
(applaud applaud)

Now let's see.. umm. what's the next one? "Sex"? No, I guess I'm done with that. Oh yes!
"Workouts".
Fitness experts say about 20 minutes of heavy-weight lifting, then one hour of run, and some more abdomen workouts helps. Kindly refer to all the fitness sites and magazines for more information (oh good good! That way we can sneak-peek into the busty ladies!) Uff, you hetero stereotypes!
(applaud applaud)

Next.
"Diet"
Good diet is important. No junkie food. No potatoes (mashed or full or fried). Less carbs. More proteins (oh yumm yumm!) No, not that proteins!! (Why not?! But then shouldn't this one come in the "sex" pointer?!). Ignored that! Fresh juices.. correction.. fresh fruit juices. Fat-free milk. Fat-free everything. No cheese. No Mayo. No oil. No Ghee. No stale food. (Ok Grandma. We got it!)
(applaud applaud)

"Dentist"
(Dentist? You mean can we have him?) No, visit him! Use listerine, dental floss (If this is going towards kissing then we think this should come in the "sex" part). Ignored!! A good, clean, cavity-free mouth keeps fat away. (Whatever!) Scientists in Japan have found that men with good dental hygiene, who use listerine or dental floss and brush teeth regularly are slimmer and lose out fat than ones with a bad one. (So does this mean that if our mouths are clean, we are good-kissers and that ways we get more men?) Ignored!! A perfect set of teeth means a smell-free mouth and a good skin.
(applaud applaud)

That's all for now folks. I was paid for this much only.
Have a healthy, slim-waist life guys!

P.S. Do not write or call me for these tips and advices because I charge for the same which you geeks cannot afford.