Man of her dreams

Mom asked me to find a guy for my cousin sister, who's now 24 and quite "old" enough to get married. Now this is something I'm gonna enjoy doing... looking for guys! "My pleasure, mom!"
So I ask her what kind of guy her family was looking for? And the same old story goes... Lets see if I can pin the finer points they want, rather prefer, in a man, suitable to get married to.

Requirement 1: "He should be a nice guy"
Hmmmmm. Nice guy?! It's quite a broad term for a definition of a nice guy. I think a guy with a killing smile is nice too (of course he should have an awesome set of lips!). I guess what they mean is that he should be of a "nice" nature. I cannot decide that by just meeting a man for, say, 2 hours; especially when (considering he would good
looking with a nice personality) I will be busy checking his etc's. But I'll try, mom!

Requirement 2: "He should be earning enough"
There's never enough when someone's earning enough. How much is enough? Let's see.. enough to own a few houses, has a monthly pay of $20,000 atleast, can take me on a vacation to different countries thrice every year, has few exclusive cars. That's good enough for a start. Oh oh, I forgot.. get me Prada, Gucci, Versace clothes (c'mon gay men want all that!). Maybe mom means someone who has the capability to own one car, one house and a "decent" pay. Oh dear! I'll try!

Requirement 3: "He should respect his culture and family values"
I hope she ain't hinting at a mama's boy. I think it's for someone who's a man enough to know family values and culture!

Requirement 4: "He should be independent"
Independent?! But, mom, that's totally against the Indian-family-values thing where a guy is expected to stay with is parents, sisters, dogs, grand-parents, uncles, aunts.. whoever! I don't think this is what she meant by being independent. What she meant was that he should not be dependent on anyone. Huh?! Ok ok I'm all confused with this one!

Requirement 5: "He should love the woman"
Now I object to this stupid hetero stuff! Let's make this about the same sex! But wait a minute... we were talking about a guy for my cousin sister. Oh hell! So, he should love a woman, eh?! No comments. Next one please!!

Requirement 6: "He should be handsome"
Aah! Now this one I love the most. Lets see.. where do I start?! How about broad shoulders, nice tough hands, bubbly butt, meaty thighs, rosy lips, a dimple on his cheeks, gorgeous smile, thick hair, not too hairy, flat tummy and nice to talk to. Phew!!

I guess I need a 10 minute "break"!!

Requirement 7: "He should be good sex"
No! Mom didn't tell me this!! I just thought I should include this one for all Indian mom's who would ask for this one when they hunt a man for their daughters (and maybe a few for me too!). So, good sex... ahem! I would want to try him first to find that out, that's why this one should be requirement no. 1. No further comments here. As they say practice what you preach!

Oh well, let me get started!

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God bless Mother Nature, she's a single woman too,She took on a heaven and she did what she had to do.
She taught every angel to rearrange the sky,So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy.

It's raining men, Hallelujah, it's raining men, every specimen,
Tall, blond, dark and mean, tough and tough and strong and lean.
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